I curate beers.  A lot of beers.  It’s kind of like collecting baseball cards for me.  I get waves of pleasure by looking at a well-organized beer list.  And when each name on the list has a story behind it, it all becomes personal.  Now that I’ve had a baby, I can’t say they’re really like my babies…no wait, screw it, they’re kind of like my babies.

This is the current state of the beer union at Hearth Restaurant & the Terroir wine bars:

HEARTH  &  TERROIR E.VIL

 TERROIR | TRIBECA    (overseen by Nicole Ciani, GM)

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Just what I've been craving! Fudge soda!! Mom, pllleease??!!

I saw this beauty while shopping at my local grocery store today.  Wow.  You’ve gotta be f’in kidding me.  Waist Watcher Diet Chocolate Fudge Soda.

A few things I love about it:

  • You can have your Chocolate Fudge soda craving, but in diet form…with Splenda!  Glorious Splenda!
  • It’s “Waist Watcher” not “Weight Watchers”
  • It comes in a 2-liter bottle because yeah, it’s that delicious.  Just try to only have one glass.
  • Made with “Natural and Artificial flavors.”  I’d really like to know what’s natural in that tube of doom…

Come to think of it, if you find your own picks for “Shittiest Beverage in the World,” take a picture of it and email it to me at GrapesandGrainsNYC@gmail.com.

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My English in-laws (and perhaps in a few states, outlaws?) rolled into town to begin laying grandparent groundwork.  Their first plan of attack was to prepare a heaping bowl of vegetable pasta.  And to compliment their efforts, I set off into the cold on a mission to the local wine shop.

Now pay attention, here’s a surefire roadmap to put you on track for beverage greatness.  Be it a dinner with the in-laws, a first date, a graduation dinner, or a night celebrating the local cock fight champion, this will set you straight.   Don’t deviate!  Follow this plan exactly:

Start the night with Prosecco while everyone’s milling about, move to a crisp Loire white (like a Sauv Blanc from Touraine) just before sitting, then go with a juicy, tomato-friendly Barbera d’Alba with your pasta.  Success will follow.  Oh, but just wait for the coup de grace…when all is said and done, whip out the Amaro for a clean, post-dessert dismount.  You will achieve champion status.

You cannot fail with these instructions.  I guarantee it.

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In this corner, weighing in at 8 lbs 4 oz, born at 8:50 pm, we are pleased to present:  Cadel Parker Flaherty.  Mom and babe are fantastic.

Look for Cadel’s upcoming tasting notes on such various beverages as breast milk and artisan baby formula.

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An hour before the NY Giants step in and wallop their way through Super Bowl XLVI, it seemed appropriate to open a big, bold bottle of bad-ass vino: the 1997 Etude Cabernet Sauvignon.

(Why I’m watching the Lingerie Bowl on MTV2 in the meantime, I have no idea…but these ladies hit hard!)

Go get em, New York.

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On First Avenue, in Manhattan’s East Village, lies a little sliver of German sausage paradise…and, oh, the beer list…the sweet, sweet beer list.  From Currywurst to Bratwurst, and a few side routes into such hearty, meaty delights as Veal Loaf (Leberkaese) and Lamb Sausage, Wechsler’s transports one to Berlin instantly upon crossing its threshold.

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The illustrious Currywurst: Bratwurst drenched in a curry-spiced ketchup (pic courtesy of RealCheapEats.com)

As you enter, it seems there is only a small bar outfitted with a massive draft beer tower and a small grill.  But walk ten more feet inside and a tiny lair opens up with wooden tables and stools, the walls festooned with old German beer posters and random kitsch.  Overall, there must be about 24 seats crammed into what feels like a dark, wooden doll’s house cum secret meeting place for German beer lovers.  The only thing missing is the thick plumes of cigarette smoke and tables laden with pewter-lidded beer steins.

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The tasty, meat-focused menu aside, the beer list is a haven of German delights.  From Kolsch to Weiss to Eisbock, they’ve got em all.  After snuggling into a tall glass of Reissdorf Kolsch, my eyes soon fixated on something truly special:  the Schneider Weisse Tap X Mein Nelson Sauvin.  Not one to normally mess around with experimental stuff, Bräuhaus G. Schneider & Sohn–one of the most classic Bavarian Weiss producers–used Nelson Sauvin hops from New Zealand. Adding a tropical fruit, peppery note to their traditional banana, clove and orange peel flavored Weisse beer, they’ve created something very tasty.

You gotta love the hole-in-the-walls you find in this city.  Beer chapels don’t need to be grand in size…this Bavarian doll house will suffice.

GABF medals garnered by Nebraska Brewing Co.

Every couple of months or so, a new brewery’s name starts to dot about the NYC beer community and cause a kerfluffle.  Emails start flying, tweets start chirping and one literally feels the buzz turn into a hum.

One such brewery that sparked a fire of interest is Nebraska Brewing Company.  Nebraska, I first thought?  Jesus, what’s in Nebraska?  Corn?  The band 311?  Omaha stylee?  But the drumbeat grew more intense.  Rumor had it there was some sick, sick beers coming out of a small town called Papillon (population 18,894), a suburb of Omaha.  And they were going to be distributed in New York City…game ON.

Paul and Kim Kavulak

Fast forward a month or so and a random thing happened.  You see, I often hang with a group called Brew York (a collection of local homebrewers and beer bloggers), who get together once a month and share the rarest, most obscure, most spine-titillating beers we can come across.  Well, there we were, on our way to our undisclosed, monthly meeting spot, when I hear, “You know, Paul Kavulak, the owner of Nebraska Brewing Co. is coming with his wife, Kim…”  I was dumbstruck.  Why would he choose to hang with us?

Well, I was soon to learn Paul and Kim are crafty businessfolk.  They were in town for NYC Brewfest and had made a decision: spend the night bouncing from bar to restaurant to say hello to their various accounts (a common route for visiting brewers or winemakers) or go hang out with a bunch of homebrewers and beer bloggers…they chose the latter.  Perhaps we’re more their type of people.  Or perhaps they’re just savvy and knew that their visit would befriend people that would champion their beer to the online world and beyond.  Or perhaps they just wanted to drink some damn good beer.

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As I launch into my 36th year on this planet (don’t even get me started about my lifetimes on other planets), I’d like to take a moment and say thanks for all the great friends I am fortunate to have in my life.  I salute your humor, irreverance, loyalty, wit, charm and passion.  Continue to wave the geek flag high and to be generous with your spirits…Cheers to you all!  

Oh, and I bought myself a few liquid treats to kick off the new year.  Stop by for a dram; I’ll leave the light on for you.

Spawning from the viral video, Shit Girls Say (or was it Shit My Dad Says on Twitter?) we’ve now seen an endless slew of snippet videos hit the web like Shit College Freshman Say, Shit Black Girls Say, Shit New Yorkers Say to Shit Girls Say to Gay Guys.

It’s only right that the cocktail world now has one.  This is Shit Bartenders Say:

 

 

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I’d like to officially welcome these fine specimens into my collection.

We figured with the baby only a few weeks away, we better get in as much wining, dining, cocktailing and beering as we can.  So, we hit up Julian Medina’s latin joint, Coppelia, last week and I was stoked to see a nice cocktail program in play.

But to get away from the booze for a moment, they serve a ridiculously tasty Mac N Cheese that reminded me why this humble dish should never be overlooked as “un-exciting”.  But then again, theirs is done with Pork Belly and Chicharrón, so you know its something special.  (In fact, watching a backwaiter trying to explain to a woman in butchered English that Chicharrón are fried pig skin was a highlight of my meal).
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Aficiao
Karlsson’s Vodka, Basil, Passion Fruit, Lemon Juice, Pasteurized Egg Whites, Orange Bitters.  (Made by Miguel Maldonado, house mixologist)

 

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Matador
Heradura Blanco Tequila, Lime Juice, Jalapeno Syrup, Cucumber, Mint.  (By Alex Valencia – Yerba Buena Perry, NY, NY)

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Seriously, dude?  And before 9 am?  I need a fuckin cup of coffee.

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A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate to go on a journey.  A journey deep into the heart of darkness. 

In the world of beer geekery, few names elicit such awe as Founders Canadian Breakfast Stout.  A rather new offering to the scene, it shot straight to the forefront of our collective, suds-filled, hearts and minds.  Within days, bottles were going for $100 and up.  Mayhem ensued.  Parents locked their doors, curfews were enforced.  It was nigh time I got my hands on some.

Jonathan Moxey, friend and Beer Scribe for Serious Eats: Drinks showed up at my doorstep with a cornucopia of Founders Stouts to get to the bottom of the hype.  Oh, and did we ever.   My house still smells like sweet, sweet stout. 

Today, his great round-up of the tasting came out:
“Founders Canadian Breakfast Stout is Worth the Hype” by Jonathan Moxey

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Riesling Spätlese Feinherb, Leiwener Laurentiuslay, St Urbans-Hof, 2008.

Happy Holidays, everyone.

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Being pregnant sucks.  Well, let me rephrase that…being pregnant is beautiful…but not being able to savor the fine intracies of a well-balanced cocktail blows goats.  But rest assured, ladies-of-the-bump: a good mocktail can satisfy that craving, and not leave you with a sauced fetus.

We recently checked out the new Astoria haunt, The Astor Room.  In a way, that’s the OLD Astoria haunt as this place served as the original commisary for Kaufman-Astoria Studios where, in the 1920’s and 1930’s, hundreds of silent film stars and starlets munched and sipped between takes.  In fact, history seemed to repeat itself, as we sat across from Philip Seymour Hoffman all night.

We asked our crafty barkeep for a mocktail for my very preggers wife.  He produced.  And then some.  It was delicious and, in fact, better than my cocktail.  I could have sworn it had alcohol in it…but that’s not the point.  It was impressive because of its complexity, its balance and its downright tastiness.

I’ve begun mimicking it at home to great success.  Here’s the rough attack plan: in a cocktail shaker filled with ice, add the following:

-3 parts Pomegranate Juice
-2 parts Pineapple Juice
-1 part Lemon Juice
-2 dashes of Orange Bitters

Shake till blue in the face and strain into a chilled martini glass.  You should be left with a nice band of foam across the top that looks like its been shaken with egg white.  Enjoy, ladies, enjoy; you deserve it.  (And back off, Mr. Hoffman, she’s mine).

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